If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
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