I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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