Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
