Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
