why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
