She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize