These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
