You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
