Only a mothe r could love this liver
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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