STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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