"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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