I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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