The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
