Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
