her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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