It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize