i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
