Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I am naked and annoyed.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
