somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
