I wanna bring you to show and tell
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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