farters have to be the big spoon...
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
