that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
