so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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