first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Success! We fucked roommates!
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
