Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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