redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
