She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm just crazy horny about you
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
