Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
