Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
