I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
