I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
