He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
there is glitter all over my balls
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