Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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