Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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