the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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