How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
