I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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