she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
