I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
