he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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