new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
