Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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