He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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