I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
