i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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