Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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