Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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