honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
