Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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