I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
