I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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