So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
