The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
