okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Randomize
