Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
