kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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