Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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