i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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