go do what you do best...puke behind churches
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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