Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
