Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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