Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I am available for nakedness
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
