Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
